.bleedlikeme.

.Depression is Home.

Depression is home
Depression is home
Mom and dad depression is home
Nights go by without a word
Familiar faces I used to know
Now look at me as a stranger
A stranger I thought I used to know

Never did I ever feel so alone
Alone so alone from head to toe
My rockstar status isn’t the same when I get home
My friends my life my whole love
Disappear when I get home

Reality hits me when I walk through the door
Life as I used to know it
Family bonds tight as glue
Doesn’t hold when I show up

My exterior shows joy
As my inside hides depression
Depression that’s visible
Depression that hits me when I get home
Mom and dad depression is home


.Deranged Teen.

Can you hear all those babies cries
Do you ever listen to there pain inside
Do you ever wonder what it’s like
To murder a person and not even think twice
To see the blood splatter across the floor
As you cut up the body preparing it for a night on ice
What a thrill it is to feel this way
A sense of being free
Cause were all not free until we murder someday

Then comes a delay
The realization about two weeks away
You murder and now it’s time to pay
Time to suffer for your bad deeds
This is when the devil has fun in his own way
All you see in your dreams are flashes of what you done
The blood the pain the cannibalistic beast you’ve become
You wish you could turn back the hands of time
But you can’t so you take a alternate route
You head upstairs to your parents room
Pull out the knife to the newly wed bride and groom
It only took two swings silent and deadly
To see the blood drip trough the bed
Then it hits you your dad and step mom are dead
So you turn towards the mirror in symbolic fashion
Put the knife to your neck
And wish what you did was just a dream
A dream come true in this life of a deranged teen

My life summed up in 2 pictures? Freaky right? Why is it that people take what you say soo drasticly? Truth and Friendship go eye to eye ... right... I entered this week soo high on hopes .. now im soo down from dope...***** Is it right for me to expect this summer to be like last's? or does the BIG 20 change us ? Im flustered im sad im depressed but mad..im leader but my friends are lame ... i once was shy but now I call it ..me just being tame.. I drink then smoke ... I like women not girls that the key word .. But after tomm I wish they all would just choke .. have another drink and drive yourself home--I hope theres ice on all the roads--and you can think of me when you forget your selt belt--and again when your head goes through the winsheld-- Thats my moto ... im goin finish this off strong ...

Soo this week has been A up and down roller coster on my emotional and physical state of mind..First I've been either sleepin to much or to little but I just don't feel alive lately.. CHRISTINA ... Yeap the only girl I really liked has come back into my life... So its been rough on my emotions ALOT ^ why do good girls like bad guys...knowing that bad guys tell mad lies?

Pictures of MY LIFE

Top 3 SAT eva........

Ok soo its started off pretty boring..we went to the movies to see WENDING CHRASERS for the 2nd time in 2 days...But it was soo worth it.> a deff must see.. Then me and 3 other hommies went to MIDLAND PARK to some ramdom party where it was like people magazines top 100 buetiful people display... but it was kool still i racked up in beer pong and got pretty drunk... I also walked away with a 21 year olds ## which is pretty sweet...I realize finally that I work better at parties when the crowd of girls is at least my age or older.... GOODBYE EMO PARTIES >> then at 2.30 we decide to hit up a strip club which totally made the night .. I almost got kicked out got a $20 lapdance and another number from the waitress.. Another chick older then me... gotta love it :) but i already knew her soo it was nt a big deal except for the fact that she owns her own house and has parties with the strippers which really rocks...lol.... and to top all of all good news ... I just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to GEICO .... sry they paid me to say that @

the whole story/..

All we want is a headrush All we want is to get out of our skin for a while We have nothing to lose because we don't have anything Anything we want anyway...We used to hate people Now we just make fun of them It's more effective that way We don't liveWe just scratch on day to day With nothing but matchbooks and sarcasm in our pockets And all we are waiting for is for something worth waiting forLet's admit America gets the celebrities we deserve Let's stop saying "Don't quote me" because if no one quotes you You probably haven't said a thing worth saying We need something to kill the pain of all that nothing inside We all just want to die a little bitWe fear that pop-culture is the only culture we're ever going to have We want to stop reading magazines Stop watching T.V.Stop caring about Hollywood But we're addicted to the things we hate We don't run Washington and no one really does Ask not what you can do for your country Ask what your country did to you The only reason you're still alive is because someone Has decided to let you live We owe so much money we're not broke we're broken We're so poor we can't even pay attention So what do you want?You want to be famous and rich and happy But you're terrified you have nothing to offer this world Nothing to say and no way to say it But you can say it in three languages You are more than the sum of what you consume Desire is not an occupation You are ultimately thrilled and desperate Skyhigh and fucked Let's stop praying for someone to save us and start saving ourselves Let's stop this and start overLet's go out - let's keep goingThis is your life - this is your fucking lifeWe need something to kill the pain of all that nothing inside Quit whining you haven't done anything wrong because frankly You haven't done much of anything Someone's writing down your mistakes Someone's documenting your downfall

Today's Fri?

Yup/wammy/bam/ oo man im drunk and drunk and tiried! Ok soo before jimmy brought something very interesting to me about some1? but i already knew wat he was gonna say soo it was a beat convo + he was stoned...... Today makes a weeek striaght drunk .... again.... nothing new but i gotta stop this ( it hurts my pride to see myself like that) / when did tellin the truth get u into soo much trouble i mean i try to help these girls (smuts) out but they just dont understand***** YYYYYYYYYYYYYY would u fuck the guy that TOTTALY dissed u the night before? see this is why LOVE sucks^^ And from my stand point it just gives me more prof that BITCHES SMUTS WHORES --- SUCK / yea u can .net/httml that ... OK? "Friends don't let friends RIP each others hearts out" which puts me into a predictument? I wish my DOG talked...I wouldnt eva be lonely? but hey at least i don't go to lookouts and sit in my car/ not to say i havent before? So yea in other news i took off the week my parents go away soo its goin to be sweet candy all week long** HEART BREAKS ARE IN THE AIR = YOU...... If I keep writing will i make an ass of myself? prb @ I gotta PEE ... wanna come? to bad u cant!! god y are u such a perv?...... tomm or today is the EE show really wanna see them again...its been a while< if i could eva have a cartoon GF it would tottaly be DARIA ** Shes interlectual smart not popular soo u know she wont cheat and to top it off shes really awesome.....Well if you read till the end of this then PROPS to u... at least some1 cares?

Y?

I left her in my sight-while she felt her eyes close on our love-when the river shines gold and the glimmer hits my sight i realize what I left behind-the girl I never knew I loved-the girl that never knew she loved me-blew between my finger tips with a gentle breeze-***

Back to the story ... When did drinkin become a habit? When did I become Me? What the FUCK am I talkin about? Today July 12 2.zero.zero.5.. she left me with only her hand across my face..../..are heart attacks caused from to many heart breaks? will she ever know the truth:-0?

Moonlight Gram

okherewegoagain...So i go to journey's to buy a new pair of shoes which i did are they are prb the best pair of shoes ive eva bought8** but then i start talkin to the girl who sold me the shoes and she gives me her ## which was kool but then i find out that her BF is a good friend of mine!! awkward right? >< and as of now i have nothing else to scrible about soo ima go****



O

Fish Sticks?

oops...........i wanna be a rock superstar.> or a dog^ wat if every1 in the world smoked weed? i mean it works wonders for our government@ do u want to know me? cause i would'nt<> BOND....James Bond..... best fictional charater ever created-



D

IRON MAN

yea soo its 2.07am currently watchin family guy and smokin a fag>...my legs hurt ALOT i think its growin pains which would be awesome cause i havent grew in like a decade!!...? this weekend was pretty fun keggers ex. same old<> persavernce was really clutch two...wink wink...women are wicked creatures...this goes out to that blonde girl i saw at work who (if the sayin is true) was my love at first sight?*..... but hey w/e-- warped tour 05 is comin up and it's a steady 75%-25% that ill go to NY warped... its just better that way.closer.same bands.ny chicks.jersey is gettin played out^./ u eva wonder wat the person ull marry will be like? scary thought cause no matter wat we want that person will never end up with u'''countdown to the big 20 ... 3m & somedays...(E.E. july 15 ill be there) @ my room is quikly becomin a mini BLACK MARKET@